Home Alone
by Cosmo Phantom
Summary: Parody of Home Alone. Timmy and Jimmy are sick of their family. So they wish they wer all gone. But what happens when their wish comes true?
1. Chapter 1

In the peaceful neighborhood in Springfield, you see a house, a beautiful and-

"Where is my suitcase!"

"Mom!"

"Who stole my hairdryer?"

Peaceful?

No, but anyway the Simpsons (AN: that is what their last names are going to be) wear all getting ready to go on vacation to Paris, France.

Inside the not so peaceful house you see a short pale policeman with a thin mustache.

"Excuse me, girls?" he asked with a Russian accent

The girls, Juniper and Kim, just walked away, as if he was not even there.

Then a big nosed kid, Billy, ran past the officer.

"Hey Kid!"

Billy ignored him and ran upstairs.

Two other girls, Paulina and Raven, ignored the little man.

Finally and adult came in, she had short red hair and had on a blue top and tan pants, this was Lois.

"Hey, Could you...?" he asked but was ignored again.

She yelled up the stairs "We need to set up the beds, Meg, can you come down hear?" then she walked into a different room.

A brown haired girl with a pink hat and top on with glasses came down the stairs, this was Meg, "I'm coming mom!" she yelled annoyed.

At the same time a raven haired boy with crystal blue eyes ran down the stairs, this was Danny.

"Young Man?!"

Like all the rest Danny ignored him too. Then an Asian boy, Jake walked by.

"Sir!"

But once again the Russian man was ignored. The sighed and put his hands on his hip.

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**

Meanwhile, a yellow skinned woman, with tall, very tall, blue hair and a green dress was talking on the phone.

"Homer and his family are hear, it crazy!" she explained as she looked though her drawers.

She was then interrupted by her twin boys, Timmy and Jimmy.

Timmy had messy brown hair and crystal blue eyes; he wore a silly pink hat, pink top, and blue jeans.

Jimmy had big swirly brown hair and blue eyes he wore a red shirt with a yellow atom on it, blue jeans, and white sneakers.

"Mom!" and angry Timmy yelled,"Uncle Peter wont let us watch a movie!"

"And the older kids get to, why can't us?" Jimmy finished.

Marge turned around annoyed, "Not while I'm on the phone." she turned around and continued talking on the phone and packing her suitcase.

Timmy and Jimmy walked up to her.

"It's not even rated R" Jimmy explained.

"He's just being a big fat jerk!" Timmy yelled.

Marge turned around, "If Uncle Peter says you can't watch it, then it must be really bad." she turned back around.

Timmy frowned and jumped on the bed and grabbed one of his mother's favorite books, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Which of the West (AN: Marge has good taste in books!), and pretended to read it.

"Timmy get off, and give me the book!" Marge yelled, "And get out of the room, you to Jimmy."

"Get off the phone and make us why don't ya?" Timmy said, still reading the book a boy his age shouldn't't be reading.

Marge rolled her eyes.

Then a fat yellow man come into the room, "Hey Marge!"

Jimmy went up to his dad, "Dad nobody wont let me and Timmy do anything!"

"Yeah!" Timmy agreed getting off the bed and putting the book down.

"You two want something to do? Why don't you go pick up those micro machines that are all in there, June stepped on one and almost broke her neck." he suggested.

Marge, finally off the phone come up to them and said, "Timmy and Jimmy-" the boys shook their heads hoping Marge wouldn't't tell Homer what happened, "wear in the garage, playing with the glue gun again."

Homer frowned and looked down at his kids, "Boys, did't we talk about this?"

"We wanted to make ordainments out of the fishhooks!" Timmy explained.

"Actually I was working on my latest invention!" Jimmy corrected.

"Fishhooks?" asked Homer.

"We couldn't't use to old ones..." Jimmy started.

"Cause the old one's have worm guts on them!" Timmy finished.

"Alright you guys out." Homer then picked them up and gave them to Lois who had just walked in.

"Hear you go." Homer joked.

"Oh you two are heavy!" Lois quickly put the boys down.

"Go pack your suitcases." Lois told them, she then pat them on their heads and walked away.

They looked at each other, eye's wide. "Pack are suitcases?"

**

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**

Paulina, a slutty girl, stopped though the house angrily, she stopped in front of poor Billy, Wear is the Shampoo?" she yelled.

"How should I know? I don't live hear!" he told her.

She stomped away, "I can't believe in a house with this much people would have no shampoo-"

She was then interrupted by the small cop from earlier, "Excuse me are your parents home?"

"Yeah, but they don't live hear. she said rudely and walked upstairs.

"Paulina, did you order the pizza?" Kim, a red haired girl with green eyes asked.

"Danny did." she answered.

"Excuse me miss," the officer said, "are your parents home?"

"Sorry my parents are in Paris." Kim said and walked off.

Then another girl, June, came by the officer.

He stopped her, "Are your parents home?"

"Yes." She told him.

"Do they live hear?"

"No." she then walked up the satires.

He frowned, "Why should they? All kids! No parents!" he yelled to no one. "Must be one of those fancy orphanages."

**

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**

Timmy and Jimmy wear now talking-or should I say-bothering their older cousin Jake.

"..so mom always packs are suitcases." Timmy told Jake.

Timmy and Jimmy continued talking, but Jake ignored them as he grabbed his suitcase, and walked out of the room. Unfortunately for him the twins followed him.

"Tough." he told them.

"Thats what Raven said!" Timmy pointed out.

"What did I say?" a pale girl with purple hair, and a purple hood asked.

"You told the twerps, 'Tough'". Jake told her.

It took a while for her to understand what he was talking about, but then she remembered, "The Defuses were compiling about their suitcases! What was I suppose to say, Jake? Congratulations your idiots!"

Jake and Raven both walked away, Timmy and Jimmy both following them, "Hey were not idiots, well Timmy is, but anyway I in fact am a genius!" Jimmy yelled.

"That can't pack his suitcase." Raven said, "You two are so helpless! Everybody has to do everything for you guys!"

The four was now in the bathroom.

"Shes right, little dudes." Jake said grabbing a toothbrush.

"For your information, wear smaller then you, so we don't know how to pack a suitcase," Timmy pointed out.

Raven left, and Jakes sister, Juniper came into the scene.

"I hope you didn't pack crap, Jake." June smirked.

Jake frowned, "Shut up June!"

"You know what I should pack?" Timmy said butting in.

"Danny already told you," Jake started, "Toilet paper and water!" he laughed, and walked downstairs.

June turned toward the twins, "Listen guys what are you so worried about? You know your mom is going to pack your guys suitcases, just like the stupid babies you are!"

Timmy and Jimmy glared at her.

"By the way." she smirked, "You two are going to sleep with Billy tonight, and you know he wets the bed when he has to much to drink." She laughed and walked away.

Timmy and Jimmy both frowned.

Then Timmy started to yell, "This family stinks! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! You hear that?!" He started jumping around yelling, "I'm living alone!" while Jimmy rolled his eyes.

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AN: Thats Chapter 1, I'll Update as soon as I can. By the way, can anyone guess who the officer is?

-Cosmo Phantom


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hear is the next chapter of Home Alone! Enjoy!

Oh, and I forgot to do the Disclaimer thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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"Who's gonna feed your ghost-spider while your gone?" asked a brown haired boy with green eyes. This was Ben.

The black haired boy from before, Danny, turned to his cousin, "I fed him some rat guts, he should be okay, for a couple of weeks."

Danny turned back around and packed his suitcase. He stopped for a moment. "Hey Ben is it true French chicks don't shave their pits?"

"Some don't"

"Well they got nude beaches" Danny said with a smile.

"Not in the winter." Ben told him.

"Darn it!" Danny frowned.

Right on cue our favorite duo, Timmy and Jimmy, came in Danny's room.

"Hey Danny?" the two asked nervously.

Danny turned, "Don't you two know how to knock? Caption Nerd and Beaver Boy!"

"Can we sleep in your room?" started Jimmy, "We don't want to sleep with Billy because he wets the bed."

Danny's eyes flashed green, "I wouldn't't want you two sleeping in my room if you wear growing on my ass!" (AN: Danny is kind of mean in this. He'll be nicer at the end, I promise)

The boys shut up and were about to leave when Danny said, "Hey look it's old man Iroh!"

He, Timmy, Jimmy, and Ben ran up to the window, outside they saw an old fat man, with a red robe. He was shoveling the sidewalks.

"Have you ever head of South Ben Shovel Slayer?" Danny asked Ben.

"No."

"Well thats him. Back in 58 he murdered his whole family and half the block-with a snow shovel. Been hiding in this neighborhood ever since."

"If he is the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?" Ben asked.

"Not enough evidence. They never found the bodies but everyone around hear knows he did it. It will just be a matter of time till he dose it again..."

Timmy and Jimmy got scared faces.

"He walks every night salting the sidewalks..." Danny continued.

"Maybe he's just trying to be...nice?" Ben said.

"No way. See that bucket of salt? Thats were he keeps his victims. The salt turns to bodies...the bodies turn to mummies!" Danny said.

Timmy and Jimmy's eyes went wide, "Mummies" the both whispered.

Iroh looked up from shoveling the sidewalks and looked straight at Timmy, Jimmy, Ben, and Danny. The boys quickly closed the curtains.

Iroh frowned and then continued salting the sidewalks.

**

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**

A car (that looked like a boat on wheels) zipped though the neighbor hood, almost crashing into buildings and running over people.

It then took a sharp turn to the Simpson's driveway. The car (or boat) stopped, making a screeching sound, and hit a statue that was displayed in the Simpson's yard.

A yellow sponge wearing a Kristy Kr ab hat, got out of car-boat or whatever- and ran up to the statue picking it up, this was Sponge bob.

**

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**

"So kid, how are you doing?" the officer from before asked Billy.

Billy just stared at him.

"Good?" The officer said. Billy still said nothing.

"A lot of action going on today?" The officer frowned, seeing that Billy still wouldn't't talk to him.

"Can you hear me or what?" asked the officer annoyed.

Then the officer heard a knock on the door, he went over to it and opened the door.

"Kristy Kr ab Pizza is the pizza for you and me!" sang Sponge bob, who was holding about a dozen pizzas. The officer let him in.

"That will be $122.50, sir." Sponge bob told him.

"Not for me pal." The officer said.

"Oh, just around for the Holidays?" asked Sponge bob.

"You could say that..."

"PIZZA'S HEAR!" a fat man, with dark brown hair and glasses yelled, this was Peter. He went over to Sponge bob and took the pizzas.

"That will be $122.50, sir." Spongebob told him.

"Uh... this is my brother's house, he'll take care of it." Peter said quickly and ran into the kitchen.

Then some of the family members; Juniper, Billy, Kim, Paulina, Ben, Jake, Meg, Raven, and Lois who was holding baby Stewie; all came down an into the kitchen.

Homer came down and saw the officer, "Hi" he said to him.

"Hi, are you Mr. Simpson?" the officer asked.

"Yes I am."

"Good," Sponge bob said butting in, "Cause someone owes me $122.50."

"And I would like to have a word with you..." the officer told Homer.

"Am I under arrest or something?" asked Homer.

"No, no it's just around the holidays, their are a lot of buggery's, so I'm just making sure everyone is taking the proper precautions." he told him.

"Well we lock our doors, thats pretty much it. Hey wants some eggnog?"

Then Danny come down, "Come on dad." They both then went into the kitchen.

"Eggnog?" asked the officer, confused. While Sponegbob frowned that he didn't get his money.

"PIZZA! PIZZA!" Timmy and Jimmy yelled, happily running down the satires and into the kitchen.

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**

The brown haired twins looked around, hoping to find plain cheese pizza.

"Dad, what time are we leaving?" Meg asked.

"Eight O' clock sharp." Peter said.

Marge came into the kitchen, "I hope you all are drinking milk cause I want to get rid of it!"

Jimmy and Timmy then saw the last pizza box, they looked inside and frowned. It wasn't cheese pizza.

"Hey Marge, we need to give the pizza guy $122.50." Homer told her.

Lois then suggested,"We have money, don't we Peter?"

"Uh..." Peter started.

"Forget it Peter, we have money." Marge said, digging though her wallet.

"Did anyone order a plain cheese?" Jimmy yelled.

"Oh yeah we did," Danny smirked, "But someones gonna have to barf it all up." He laughed.

They both frowned. Timmy looked over at Billy, who was drinking some Pepsi. Billy turned to Timmy and smiled evilly.

Then Danny pretended he was about to barf, "Quickly, Quickly get a plate!"

Timmy and Jimmy had it. They hated Danny and everyone who always picked on them or ignored them.

Danny never expected it, when his brothers tackled him. He fell back on the counter, spilling some milk all over the family's plane tickets.

"Boy's!" Homer yelled. He got up and accidentally spilled some soda on Peter's pizza.

"Hey watch it!" Peter yelled and backed into Billy, who had gotten up to see the action.

June, Jake, Ben, Kim, Meg, and Raven ran over to the counter and began to clean up the milk.

Paulina was crying because somehow a pizza had fell on top of her head.

Stewie laughed at Paulina while Lois helped Billy.

Marge grabbed Timmy and Jimmy, "What is wrong with you two?!" she yelled.

"Danny ate all the cheese pizzas, he knows-" Timmy started, but was interrupted.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Paulina yelled, getting the pizza out of her hair.

Timmy and Jimmy looked around seeing angry faces.

Marge then said, "You two upstairs, now."

"Why?" they asked.

"You two are such a disease!" Jake said.

"Shut Up!" they yelled back.

"Boys!" Homer yelled.

"Say goodnight boys." Marge said taking them both.

"Goodnight Boys." they both mocked.

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"How come everyone so mean to us?!" Jimmy yelled at his mother, who was now dragging them out of the kitchen.

Marge then saw Spongbob, "Oh I'm sorry, this home is such a mess!" she apologized.

"How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?!" Timmy asked Sponge bob, Marge frowned.

Sponge bob shrugged, "Thanks for the tip." then he left.

The officer, who had been looking around the house come over to Marge and her boys.

"Is There a family reunion or something?" he asked Marge.

"No, on vacation-" She continued, while the little officer smiled at Jimmy and Timmy.

"So we can all be together." She finished.

"A trip to Paris?"

"Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning." She said.

"Good." he smiled.

Timmy and Jimmy continued trying to get Marge to let go, "If you'll excuse me I have to take care of these two, I'll be right back." Marge took Jimmy and Timmy upstairs.

"Don't worry about your home, it's in good hands." he smiled and then left.

**

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**

Marge dragged the twins. She opened a door, revealing satires in it, "Up there now."

"The third floor?" asked Jimmy.

"Billy will be with you soon." she told them.

"No! he'll wet the bed!" Timmy frowned.

"Fine well put him somewhere else."

"We're Sorry." Timmy and Jimmy apologized.

"To late, up." Marge told them.

They both walked up the satires and Jimmy turned to his mother, "Everyone in this family hates us!"

"Maybe Santa will give you two a new family." She told them.

"No!" Timmy started. "We don't want a new family. FAMILY'S SUCK! We don't want one at all!"

"Up the satires now. And I don't want to see you two for the rest of the night!"

"I don't want to see you for the rest of my life!" Jimmy yelled.

"Or the rest of this stupid family!" Timmy yelled.

They ran up the satires. Marge frowned and closed the door.

Timmy and Jimmy jumped on the bed both thinking the same thing, "I with they would all just disappear."

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That it for Chapter 2, hoped you liked it!


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